Show Some Respect

If you are considering purchasing a new home like my husband and I did, there is something you might want to ask your Realtor before signing on the dotted line.

On my way to work one early Spring morning, I hit a deer head on. I watched it sail over my '91 Ford mustang like one of Santa's reindeer's, missing my windshield by mere inches. That was the good news. The damage Comet had left to my front end was extensive to someone who only carried Liability insurance.

I knew by looking at the damage I would need a new bumper and a new hood, and the front end would need to be pulled out and reshaped to fit the new parts. You might be wondering at this point what this has to do with being a new home owner. Just wait, it will all make sense in the end.

With my husband's help, we found parts we needed in a salvage yard. A red bumper, a blue hood to go with the Mustang's maroon frame. Beautiful. Personally, I didn't care what it was going to look like, I just needed it to take me back and forth to work. We started on reshaping the front end by attaching one end of a long chain to a sturdy tree in our small back yard and the other end to the smashed frame. The theory was to wench the front end back into place with the tree as anchor and the Mustang as resistant force. This took several hours, and a few gallons of gas, but a success.

We did however manage to leave behind a 2 foot rut in our yard underneath the sturdy tree from the spinning tires. And, the noise we caused from gunning the motor for so long was disturbing enough to wake the dead...literally. Triumph, the car was practically fixed.
We had bought this house over 2 years prior to my collision with Comet, but just a few days after the accident and reconstruction, a distant neighbor I had never met came knocking on my door. She was without a car and needed a ride to the store. No problem, I was glad to help out.

On our way back, close to home, she turns to me and says, "You know there is a woman buried in your yard?" Blink, Blink. I don't respond, not really sure how to. She continues, "I can show you if you would like?" No, I tell her. "I would rather not know, but thank you all the same."
The neighbor was quite elderly and well, I just didn't want to think about it. Only a few days after the news, I get a knock on our door. Front door mind you which none of our friends go to. Well, except for Dave who thinks it's bad luck, but anyway. I open the door and there is a strange man standing there.

Cautiously, I greet him and he responds hesitantly, "My name is Jeremy and I came to visit my mother, you know she is buried here?" I tell him that I had been recently informed of her final resting place. He asks me if I would like to see where she is buried. By now, I have to know. So I follow him out to the back yard and he looks down and says, "She is buried right here." I look down and he is standing only inches away from the 2 foot rut made only days before by the Mustang, all I can think is, "Dear God, I woke her up!"

This story took place two years ago, and I have yet to be visited by my neighbor or the son. However, I do believe that our lady that rests in peace delivered her message to us pretty loud and clear.

I am getting married!

I am getting married. I have never been married. I am 38 years old and have no children. It is an interesting thought. I have attended maybe 30 weddings in my life. I would say 23 of them ended in divorce. I have lost contact with 5 couples however. In my observation, weddings are so depressing. For one, they are stressful. I don't like stress, avoid at all possible. They are wasteful. The trash produced is phenomenal. I worked for a catering company that hosted such events as well. Think of all the invitations that are sent to announce showers, formal dinners, the wedding itself. Way too much work and stress for a one day event.

So, I have decided not to have a traditional wedding. I really don't like that much directed attention. However, I will send an earth friendly announcement that has wildflower seeds embedded in the invitation to a few selected people. The others are getting emails. The message might read something like this.

"Married. Party at the Point. Bring your own canoe, tent and toilet paper. Save your gift. Plant this invitation instead."

I am not a religious person. We both aren't to the shame of our families. To think some stranger appointed by God will stand and witness and pronounce us something we have been since we agreed on a commitment from one another.

I am planning for August 8, 2008. Infinity. I only work a half day that Friday. Meet at the Court House and then go to the Dairy Queen for a Tropical blizzard. Or is it Hawaiian? Damn it. Which one has the pineapples?